The Fivepenny Piece Lyrics

Spanish Holiday (Peter Christie)

We’ve all been on a holiday to Spain
And next year we will all go there again
Not one of us could tell a cold gazpacho from paella
But we all had a lovely time

Last year when we arrived in sunny Spain
We reached our hotel bedroom in a crane
For they’d not build the top floors and we had no bedroom doors
But we all had a lovely time

Our hotel room was breezy for the walls were not complete
Our bathroom too commanded views from several hundred feet
But the British are not shy when they’re in the public eye
And sing patriotic songs not obsolete
And at bath time there stood Father wearing little more than lather
Singing “Rule Britannia” to the passers by
Father in his lather wasn’t shy

We’ve all been on a charter flight to Spain
And everyone was pally on the plane
Just like a charabanc we sang and drank and drank and sang
And we all had a lovely time

Jane had tummy trouble that the Spanish doctor traced
To eating seafood known to breed where sewers discharge waste
But it wasn’t eating squid that made her feel the way she did
And added several inches to her waist
For her so-called ‘Spanish tummy’ came from being far too chummy
With a matador who made off for Madrid
What Jane did can’t be blamed upon a squid

We’ve all been on a holiday to Spain
But this year our brochure did not explain
That owing to the boom there’d be five families to a room
But we all had a lovely time

When we reached our hotel we were told they’d overbooked
With five bunk beds above ours we felt somewhat overlooked
But Mother wiped her tears and we bought some souvenirs
And ate some octopus that wasn’t cooked
And our room with all its clutter like the black hole of Calcutta
Looked so cosy after drinking several beers
We went ahead and booked for two more years

We’ve all been on a holiday to Spain
And next year we will all go there again
Not one of us could tell a cold gazpacho from paella
But we all had a lovely time
(Spoken): ‘Ee by gum we did”
We all had a lovely time
(Spoken): “Have you packed your cossie George?”
We all had a lovely time
Ole!